Choose Opportunity — Choose Relationships First
Choose Opportunity — Choose Relationships First
Choose Opportunity — Choose Relationships First
Choose Opportunity — Choose Relationships First
Do you want to start increasing your effectiveness today? If so, you have important choices to make. Our choices determine our effectiveness and prove our faithfulness.
Do you want to start increasing your effectiveness today? If so, you have important choices to make. If you choose to become more opportunity minded and more relationship focused, your effectiveness will dramatically increase.
There are major differences in people who are extraordinarily effective and those who are not. You see, extraordinarily effective people have these three major things in common.
- Extraordinarily effective people use their free will to act instead of being acted upon — they put first things first.
- Extraordinarily effective people are opportunity minded instead of being problem minded — they don’t see challenges as obstacles, they see them as chances to get better.
- Extraordinarily effective people put relationships above everything else — relationships are their source of their security, guidance, wisdom, and power.
An extraordinary life can be lived in multiple domains. We can be extraordinary in our work life, our personal life, and our spiritual life.
I don’t know about you, but God often causes my work life, my personal life, and my spiritual life to collide together as He teaches me the most important lessons.
This recent spring break was no different. We had a fantastic family trip planned and I had some very important work initiatives to accomplish. Of course, as the ever unrealistic optimist (some would say “poor time planner”), I was sure it was all possible.
But, as challenges developed on multiple fronts, I started to feel like I was doing a poor job on all fronts. I was seeing more problems than opportunities. I needed a new perspective.
Solution: Family movie night! After much debate, our family selected the movie, The Hill.
The Hill is the story of Ricky Hill, a young boy in leg braces with a degenerative bone disease, who spends his days hitting small rocks with a stick, dreaming of playing baseball in the big leagues. His father, a small town pastor with unstable work, believes Ricky’s dream and those who support it are giving him a false sense of hope. He believes Ricky should use his knowledge of God to become a preacher like himself.
- Ricky used his free will to train his broken body by hitting rocks with a stick up to 16 hours a day.
- Ricky did not let his severe physical disabilities or his economic limitations distract him from the opportunity he had in mind.
- Ricky had strong relationships. He loved everyone and everyone loved him. He drew security, guidance, wisdom, and power from family members, friends, and God. He is an inspiration to everyone he meets.
Ricky’s approach to life stood in stark contrast to way his father approached life.
- Ricky’s father tried to control Ricky’s free will and was unsupportive of Ricky’s crazy dream, scared of what might happen to him.
- The pastor / father saw limits, laws, and problems. He attempted to stop his son’s opportunity driven mindset, focus, and determination
- Ricky’s father is focused on religion over relationships with families, friends, and God.
My favorite line in the movie is when Ricky's mom admonishes her pastor husband, saying about Ricky, “He is special. They said he would never walk and he ran. How many miracles do you need?” She gets through to the husband and ultimately he chooses to support Ricky. The pastor changes by choosing to have stronger relationships with his family and God.
Ricky, with his father's support, continued to clear more obstacles and beat all the odds — making it all the way to the major leagues.
The story is true and it was just the encouragement I needed to finish a fabulous spring break with my family and continue the work I have been given to do. God used the movie to help me have a renewed perspective on life and work.
God gave us all gifts to be extraordinarily effective difference makers. God gives us free will, provides plenty of opportunities, and the source of all relationships.
Put First Things First
The three difference makers in the movie, The Hill, are also included by Stephen Covey in Habit 3, Put First Things First, in his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
Habit 3 sits at the pivotal intersection of independence and interdependence. Covey explains, “Habit 3 is the personal fruit, the practical fulfillment of Habits 1 and 2.” And goes on to say, “Habit 3 is the second creation, the physical creation. It’s the fulfillment, the actualization, the natural emergence of Habits 1 and 2. It’s the exercise of independent will toward becoming principle-centered. It's day-in, day-out, moment-by-moment doing it.”
Put Your Free Will To Work
“In addition to self-awareness, imagination, and conscience, it is the fourth human endowment — [free] will — that really makes effective self-management possible. It is the ability to make decisions and choices and to act in accordance with them.
It is the ability to act rather than to be acted upon, to proactively carry out the program we have developed through the other three endowments.
The human will is an amazing thing. Time after time, it has triumphed against unbelievable odds. The Helen Kellers of this world give dramatic evidence of the value, the power of the independent will.” – Stephen Covey
“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” – Galatians 5:1
We have the complete freedom to plan and make decisions. We can use our free choices to serve others or serve ourselves.
We have choices to spend time on what is important or unimportant, as well as what is urgent or not urgent. Covey helps us clearly categorize our how to make choices with his time management matrix. Our choices determine our effectiveness and prove our faithfulness.
“You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh ; rather, serve one another humbly in love.” – Galatians 5:13
To know where to spend our time we need to start with our principles. Our principals should be based on our life goals, as we saw with Habit 2 in ‘Where Do You Want To Go?’.
Put Opportunity Ahead of Problems
“Effective people are not problem minded; they're opportunity-minded. They feed opportunities and starve problems.” – Peter Drucker
When asked to do something new, does your mind go straight to the upside of the opportunity or to the potential problems and challenges that exist?
To be effective we must learn to see the bigger picture and the upside of what is possible — even if we are naturally inclined to focus on the potential risks.
The opportunities we discern determines what we say “yes” and “no” to. Covey makes the point that we all have the opportunity to say “yes” to the important, not urgent, work in front of us. We all have the power to say “yes” to spending time on things that have the most opportunity for change or positive impact in the lives of those we serve.
“You have to be proactive to work on Quadrant II because Quadrants I and III work on you. To say “yes” to important Quadrant II priorities, you have to learn to say “no” to other activities, sometimes apparently urgent things.
Keep in mind that you are always saying “no” to something. If it isn’t to the apparent, urgent things in your life, it is probably to the more fundamental, highly important things. Even when the urgent is good, the good can keep you from your best, keep you from your unique contribution, if you let it.” – Stephen Covey
Saying yes to anything is saying no to something.
“Be very careful, then, how you live — not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.” – Ephesians 5:15-16
“It’s almost impossible to say “no” to the popularity of Quadrant III or to the pleasure of escape to Quadrant IV if you don’t have a bigger “yes” burning inside. Only when you have the self-awareness to examine your program — and the imagination and conscience to create a new, unique, principle-centered program to which you can say “yes” — only then will you have sufficient independent willpower to say “no,” with a genuine smile, to the unimportant.” – Stephen Covey
Jesus gives us the ultimate way to measure each opportunity and how to think about the negative out of your control.
“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” – Matthew 6:33-34
Put Relationships Ahead of Everything
“The practical thread running through all five of these advances is a primary focus on relationships and results and a secondary focus on time.” – Stephen Covey
“Discipline derives from disciple—disciple to a philosophy, disciple to a set of principles, disciple to a set of values, disciple to an overriding purpose, to a superordinate goal or a person who represents that goal. In other words, if you are an effective manager of yourself, your discipline comes from within; it is a function of your independent will. You are a disciple, a follower, of your own deep values and their source. And you have the will, the integrity, to subordinate your feelings, your impulses, your moods to those values.” – Stephen Covey
“Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people.” – Matthew 4:19
Jesus invited people to follow Him and made them His disciples — giving them a source of security, purpose, wisdom, and power.
He also told them the problems up front and compared them with opportunities for upside beyond what they could think or imagine.
Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul? For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father's glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what they have done.” – Matthew 16:24-27
Put Your Relationship With God Above All Things
Nothing is more important than your relationship with God. Rex Jones spoke at The Center and said, “If you meet with Jesus every morning for 30 minutes, there is no doubt who your best friend will be.”
“The first great and primary business to which I ought to attend every day was to have my soul happy in the Lord. The first thing to be concerned about was… how I might get my soul into a happy state, and how my inner man might be nourished… the most important thing I had to do was to give myself to the reading of the word of God and to meditation on it, that thus my heart might be comforted, encouraged, warned, reproved, instructed; and that thus, while meditating, my heart might be brought into experimental communion with the Lord.” – George Mueller
For Mueller, and for you and me, this means the first thing to put first is spending time with God. If we make this our most important habit, our heart, soul, mind and strength will be nurtured — ready for the day — to make choices for the greatest opportunities that lead to the most good for all the people in our lives.
If we start with God we will no doubt be extraordinarily effective in blessing others.
Resources
Book: 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
Article: Your Soul Happy in God
Article: Where Do You Want To Go?
Video: Rob Thompson At The Center
Movie: The Hill
Do you want to start increasing your effectiveness today? If so, you have important choices to make. If you choose to become more opportunity minded and more relationship focused, your effectiveness will dramatically increase.
There are major differences in people who are extraordinarily effective and those who are not. You see, extraordinarily effective people have these three major things in common.
- Extraordinarily effective people use their free will to act instead of being acted upon — they put first things first.
- Extraordinarily effective people are opportunity minded instead of being problem minded — they don’t see challenges as obstacles, they see them as chances to get better.
- Extraordinarily effective people put relationships above everything else — relationships are their source of their security, guidance, wisdom, and power.
An extraordinary life can be lived in multiple domains. We can be extraordinary in our work life, our personal life, and our spiritual life.
I don’t know about you, but God often causes my work life, my personal life, and my spiritual life to collide together as He teaches me the most important lessons.
This recent spring break was no different. We had a fantastic family trip planned and I had some very important work initiatives to accomplish. Of course, as the ever unrealistic optimist (some would say “poor time planner”), I was sure it was all possible.
But, as challenges developed on multiple fronts, I started to feel like I was doing a poor job on all fronts. I was seeing more problems than opportunities. I needed a new perspective.
Solution: Family movie night! After much debate, our family selected the movie, The Hill.
The Hill is the story of Ricky Hill, a young boy in leg braces with a degenerative bone disease, who spends his days hitting small rocks with a stick, dreaming of playing baseball in the big leagues. His father, a small town pastor with unstable work, believes Ricky’s dream and those who support it are giving him a false sense of hope. He believes Ricky should use his knowledge of God to become a preacher like himself.
- Ricky used his free will to train his broken body by hitting rocks with a stick up to 16 hours a day.
- Ricky did not let his severe physical disabilities or his economic limitations distract him from the opportunity he had in mind.
- Ricky had strong relationships. He loved everyone and everyone loved him. He drew security, guidance, wisdom, and power from family members, friends, and God. He is an inspiration to everyone he meets.
Ricky’s approach to life stood in stark contrast to way his father approached life.
- Ricky’s father tried to control Ricky’s free will and was unsupportive of Ricky’s crazy dream, scared of what might happen to him.
- The pastor / father saw limits, laws, and problems. He attempted to stop his son’s opportunity driven mindset, focus, and determination
- Ricky’s father is focused on religion over relationships with families, friends, and God.
My favorite line in the movie is when Ricky's mom admonishes her pastor husband, saying about Ricky, “He is special. They said he would never walk and he ran. How many miracles do you need?” She gets through to the husband and ultimately he chooses to support Ricky. The pastor changes by choosing to have stronger relationships with his family and God.
Ricky, with his father's support, continued to clear more obstacles and beat all the odds — making it all the way to the major leagues.
The story is true and it was just the encouragement I needed to finish a fabulous spring break with my family and continue the work I have been given to do. God used the movie to help me have a renewed perspective on life and work.
God gave us all gifts to be extraordinarily effective difference makers. God gives us free will, provides plenty of opportunities, and the source of all relationships.
Put First Things First
The three difference makers in the movie, The Hill, are also included by Stephen Covey in Habit 3, Put First Things First, in his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
Habit 3 sits at the pivotal intersection of independence and interdependence. Covey explains, “Habit 3 is the personal fruit, the practical fulfillment of Habits 1 and 2.” And goes on to say, “Habit 3 is the second creation, the physical creation. It’s the fulfillment, the actualization, the natural emergence of Habits 1 and 2. It’s the exercise of independent will toward becoming principle-centered. It's day-in, day-out, moment-by-moment doing it.”
Put Your Free Will To Work
“In addition to self-awareness, imagination, and conscience, it is the fourth human endowment — [free] will — that really makes effective self-management possible. It is the ability to make decisions and choices and to act in accordance with them.
It is the ability to act rather than to be acted upon, to proactively carry out the program we have developed through the other three endowments.
The human will is an amazing thing. Time after time, it has triumphed against unbelievable odds. The Helen Kellers of this world give dramatic evidence of the value, the power of the independent will.” – Stephen Covey
“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” – Galatians 5:1
We have the complete freedom to plan and make decisions. We can use our free choices to serve others or serve ourselves.
We have choices to spend time on what is important or unimportant, as well as what is urgent or not urgent. Covey helps us clearly categorize our how to make choices with his time management matrix. Our choices determine our effectiveness and prove our faithfulness.
“You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh ; rather, serve one another humbly in love.” – Galatians 5:13
To know where to spend our time we need to start with our principles. Our principals should be based on our life goals, as we saw with Habit 2 in ‘Where Do You Want To Go?’.
Put Opportunity Ahead of Problems
“Effective people are not problem minded; they're opportunity-minded. They feed opportunities and starve problems.” – Peter Drucker
When asked to do something new, does your mind go straight to the upside of the opportunity or to the potential problems and challenges that exist?
To be effective we must learn to see the bigger picture and the upside of what is possible — even if we are naturally inclined to focus on the potential risks.
The opportunities we discern determines what we say “yes” and “no” to. Covey makes the point that we all have the opportunity to say “yes” to the important, not urgent, work in front of us. We all have the power to say “yes” to spending time on things that have the most opportunity for change or positive impact in the lives of those we serve.
“You have to be proactive to work on Quadrant II because Quadrants I and III work on you. To say “yes” to important Quadrant II priorities, you have to learn to say “no” to other activities, sometimes apparently urgent things.
Keep in mind that you are always saying “no” to something. If it isn’t to the apparent, urgent things in your life, it is probably to the more fundamental, highly important things. Even when the urgent is good, the good can keep you from your best, keep you from your unique contribution, if you let it.” – Stephen Covey
Saying yes to anything is saying no to something.
“Be very careful, then, how you live — not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.” – Ephesians 5:15-16
“It’s almost impossible to say “no” to the popularity of Quadrant III or to the pleasure of escape to Quadrant IV if you don’t have a bigger “yes” burning inside. Only when you have the self-awareness to examine your program — and the imagination and conscience to create a new, unique, principle-centered program to which you can say “yes” — only then will you have sufficient independent willpower to say “no,” with a genuine smile, to the unimportant.” – Stephen Covey
Jesus gives us the ultimate way to measure each opportunity and how to think about the negative out of your control.
“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” – Matthew 6:33-34
Put Relationships Ahead of Everything
“The practical thread running through all five of these advances is a primary focus on relationships and results and a secondary focus on time.” – Stephen Covey
“Discipline derives from disciple—disciple to a philosophy, disciple to a set of principles, disciple to a set of values, disciple to an overriding purpose, to a superordinate goal or a person who represents that goal. In other words, if you are an effective manager of yourself, your discipline comes from within; it is a function of your independent will. You are a disciple, a follower, of your own deep values and their source. And you have the will, the integrity, to subordinate your feelings, your impulses, your moods to those values.” – Stephen Covey
“Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people.” – Matthew 4:19
Jesus invited people to follow Him and made them His disciples — giving them a source of security, purpose, wisdom, and power.
He also told them the problems up front and compared them with opportunities for upside beyond what they could think or imagine.
Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul? For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father's glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what they have done.” – Matthew 16:24-27
Put Your Relationship With God Above All Things
Nothing is more important than your relationship with God. Rex Jones spoke at The Center and said, “If you meet with Jesus every morning for 30 minutes, there is no doubt who your best friend will be.”
“The first great and primary business to which I ought to attend every day was to have my soul happy in the Lord. The first thing to be concerned about was… how I might get my soul into a happy state, and how my inner man might be nourished… the most important thing I had to do was to give myself to the reading of the word of God and to meditation on it, that thus my heart might be comforted, encouraged, warned, reproved, instructed; and that thus, while meditating, my heart might be brought into experimental communion with the Lord.” – George Mueller
For Mueller, and for you and me, this means the first thing to put first is spending time with God. If we make this our most important habit, our heart, soul, mind and strength will be nurtured — ready for the day — to make choices for the greatest opportunities that lead to the most good for all the people in our lives.
If we start with God we will no doubt be extraordinarily effective in blessing others.
Resources
Book: 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
Article: Your Soul Happy in God
Article: Where Do You Want To Go?
Video: Rob Thompson At The Center
Movie: The Hill