Memphis — Should I Stay Or Should I Go?
Memphis — Should I Stay Or Should I Go?
Memphis — Should I Stay Or Should I Go?
Memphis — Should I Stay Or Should I Go?
People you know are concerned about their safety — are you? People you know are considering moving — are you? The decisions being pondered range from moving away from Memphis to moving neighborhoods or just staying put. And, how to protect family and loved ones, better serve coworkers and friends, or wanting to go “all in” to serve the most vulnerable in our city.
People you know are concerned about their safety — are you? People you know are considering moving — are you? The decisions being pondered range from moving away from Memphis to moving neighborhoods or just staying put. And, how to protect family and loved ones, better serve coworkers and friends, or wanting to go “all in” to serve the most vulnerable in our city.
Let’s Have A Dialogue
I had an insightful conversation with a man last week at Chick-fil-A. I was drawn to him because of his joy-filled friendliness. But, as I spoke to him, I began to understand that — like so many others — he feels unsafe. He is concerned about his wife and family. He fears they are in danger as they drive to school, pump gas, and shop for the things their family needs.
On top of that, he is in a job where he is not appreciated the way he should be. He feels targeted and unsafe. The job's rules and procedures keep getting more and more challenging. Recently, some of his coworkers committed the most serious of crimes and violated the most basic rules of the job. As a result, his work hours have doubled, and although that means more income, he is tired and worn down.
It’s getting harder and harder for him to protect and serve our city.
Yes, this man is a Memphis police officer. Is there a job filled with more challenges and less appreciation in our city than this man's? Yet, as I talked with him, he was full of joy, peace, and purpose — bound by duty to serve his family and those he agreed to protect.
There is a lot to learn from a joy-filled man who is full of duty and responsibility in the midst of incredibly difficult circumstances.
Over the years, when faced with difficult decisions, I’ve learned that having a dialogue with people whose lives, jobs, families, and culture look differently than mine is vitally important — especially when you live in the same city or community. The perspectives they bring help clarify indecision and provide freedom to see things in a new way, even if your decision remains the same.
From Indecision To Freedom
“This indecision is bugging me.” And, my guess is that it’s also bothering you. We were made for freedom. The goal for each of us is to move from indecision (and doubt) to freedom (and confidence) by asking some of the questions like the well known band The Clash does in their song “Should I Stay or Should I Go.” Of course, they were singing about much more trivial matters, but the question rings true for many.
We’re going to dig a little deeper than The Clash’s classic lyrics to see how to make good decisions using frameworks from Harvard Business Review, McKinsey & Company, and most importantly the truth of God’s word to guide us — whether to stay or go and how to help others.
First, decide what type of category the decision is for you and your family or the person you are helping. The way we define the situation can vary for each of us. An article in Harvard Business Review, A Leader’s Framework for Decision Making, helps leaders identify the urgency and characteristics of the situation in order to sense, categorize, and respond appropriately.
The Cynefin Decision Framework
This Cynefin Decision framework from HBR helps leaders determine the prevailing operative context so they can make appropriate choices. Each domain requires different actions.
Simple and complicated contexts assume an ordered universe, where cause-and-effect relationships are perceptible, and right answers can be determined based on the facts.
Complex and chaotic contexts are unordered — there is no immediately apparent relationship between cause and effect, and the way forward is determined based on emerging patterns.
How do you see the current situation?
If Chaotic — act first to establish order and protect yourselves and loved ones.
If Complex — probe for answers by experimenting and testing to gain experiential understanding.
If Simple — categorize and respond with known best practices.
If Complicated — analyze by drawing on more experts and data.
For Most — It’s Complicated
For most of those who are concerned and unsure what to do — it’s complicated. We love our city, neighbors, church, the kids' schools, Memphis’ food and of course the Grizzlies! But, living with constant fear of surroundings and circumstances is no way to live.
Knowing that for most of us it's complicated, let's transition to a framework for uncertain or complicated decisions.
A Bold Decision Is Needed
Writers from McKinsey and Company recommend a framework for making bold decisions in their article Decision Making in Uncertain Times. The five principles in this framework help leaders “make bold decisions quickly in these uncertain times.”
1. Take a breath — Ask yourself and your team these questions: What is most important right now? What might we be missing? How might things unfold from here, and what could we influence now that could pay off later? This ability to anticipate how things might unfold — and to begin to act accordingly — can help avoid knee-jerk reactions that lead to poor outcomes.
2. Involve more people — Encourage different views and debate. This approach can lead to smarter decisions without sacrificing speed.
In other words, to quote Ken Blanchard, “None of us are as smart as all of us.” Don’t just listen to your own voice.
3. Make the critical small choices — Anticipate multiple possible scenarios for how things might unfold over time. Detailed, precise predictions are likely to be wrong because things are in flux. Anticipating a range of possible pathways and general scenarios can be extremely helpful in thinking through what might happen. Make a list of five to ten choices or actions that making today might, depending on what happens, make a difference later.
4. Set up a nerve center — In stressful times it’s important to be able to focus attention on the issue at hand. That means minimizing distractions. If a leader is too frenzied, they are likely to make errors in judgment.
Agree to get together with your spouse, family members, and others charged with giving input to the situation on a regular basis. This will establish a process to deal with fears and make decisions.
Live By The Truth Of God’s Word
“The earth is the Lord's, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it; for he founded it on the seas and established it on the waters. Who may ascend the mountain of the Lord? Who may stand in his holy place? The one who has clean hands and a pure heart, who does not trust in an idol or swear by a false god. They will receive blessing from the Lord and vindication from God their Savior.” - Psalm 24:1-5
The whole earth is God’s and we are His too. When we put our trust in Him, we receive the blessing of knowing we are His, He’s saved us, and He will rescue us from all danger.
The philosopher Dallas Willard said, “Scripture is a means of personal transformation.” Scripture guides us perfectly when we lean into it. Consider how these verses from Romans can guide all our decisions.
“Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God — this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is — his good, pleasing and perfect will.” - Romans 12:1-2
In a commentary on those verses, Willard said, “The mind not transformed by God’s word holds before it a certain picture of the reality of the world. The mind informed by God’s word is renewed and that the renewed mind has thinking confirmed to the realities of the kingdom of God.”
Willard goes on to say, “We live in an alternate reality vs. the kingdom of God. The kingdom of God is now here and it is where what God wants done and is done. We pray ‘Thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.’”
“All of the problems of the world come from not thinking rightly about God. The world is organized around human desire. Love is not the same as desire. Love is meant to govern the will which is meant to contemplate alternatives.”
Two Pronged Ultimate Input — The Great Commandment
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these.” - Mark 12:30-31
Jesus makes it simple for us to understand, but not easy for us to implement. This great commandant leads us in all decisions with these two priorities.
- How will this decision help me love God better and trust Him more with my heart, soul, mind, and strength? Will this decision help me know God better? Is this the best way for me to know Him better?
- How will this decision help me serve God’s people — my current neighbors or potentially new neighbors — better? Will this decision help me care for my neighbors as I care for myself and my family? How will this help me maximize my gifts for the kingdom of God?
It’s clear from God that knowing and loving Him comes first and that we need to look out for our neighbors the same way we look out for ourselves. Let's pray and act for our neighbors the same way we pray and take care of ourselves.
A Great Example
Paul was a man who met Jesus face to face and was given a mission directly from God. Yet, he faced many challenges — including the people he loved and cared for not wanting him to leave. Even a prophet with a vision from the Holy Spirit was incorrectly guiding him to physical safety over God’s call for his life.
“After we had been there a number of days, a prophet named Agabus came down from Judea. Coming over to us, he took Paul's belt, tied his own hands and feet with it and said, “The Holy Spirit says, 'In this way the Jewish leaders in Jerusalem will bind the owner of this belt and will hand him over to the Gentiles.' ”When we heard this, we and the people there pleaded with Paul not to go up to Jerusalem. Then Paul answered, “Why are you weeping and breaking my heart? I am ready not only to be bound, but also to die in Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus.” When he would not be dissuaded, we gave up and said, “The Lord's will be done.”” - Acts 21:10-14
Looking out for the physical safety of others is an important responsibility for parents, spouses, leaders, coworkers and friends, but it is not more important than people’s spiritual health — it’s not more important than helping people get home safely to their Heavenly Father.
Paul knew his mission in life. He knew he had received instructions directly from God. He knew better life awaited him so he lived by the phrase the Holy Spirit inspired him to write, “To live is Christ, to die is gain.” - Philippians 1:21. He knew he was better off dead; so he was willing to risk his life (not casually) to complete the mission He was given.
We also have a mission. To put things under God’s order and dominion (Genesis 1:26-28). To be God’s witnesses (Isaiah 43:10) and to live, love, and serve as Jesus did as we make disciples (Matthew 28:19-20) of our neighbors, coworkers, the folks we meet in Chick-fil-A, and beyond.
Practical Implications — Move On Mission
1. Be informed with God’s word to guide your every move — God’s word is a lamp your feet, a light on your path (Psalm 119:105) — as much as you are informed by the news / neighborhood watch.
2. Pray for direction before you move to surrendering your will to God’s will — thy Kingdom come, they will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
3. Pray for the city — where God moves in your heart about the most pressing matters in the city.
4. Move to know God better in big and small decisions — to love Him with all of you heart soul and mind.
5. Move toward loving your neighbor as you do your self — different for everyone — but don’t run from fear. Reorder your fears.
6. Make changes that directly impact your safety while moving on mission:
⁃ Keep head on a swivel — look around be aware of your surroundings
⁃ Ask for help where you need it (in pumping gas, ride to the grocery store, etc.)
⁃ Install cameras if this would help with peace of mind
⁃ Remove valuables from cars and park in best place possible
7. Support our police officers and other public servants — move toward loving them — (see operation Back the Blue in Memphis)
8. Move to care for the vulnerable of our city including: unwed mothers, foster children, children who need reading tutors, and help with job training — volunteer and give.
Resources
Dallas Willard: Transformed By The Renewing Of The Mind
A Leader’s Framework For Decision Making by David Snowden and Mary Boone
Decision Making In Uncertain Times by Andrea Alexander, Aaron De Smet, and Leigh Weiss
People you know are concerned about their safety — are you? People you know are considering moving — are you? The decisions being pondered range from moving away from Memphis to moving neighborhoods or just staying put. And, how to protect family and loved ones, better serve coworkers and friends, or wanting to go “all in” to serve the most vulnerable in our city.
Let’s Have A Dialogue
I had an insightful conversation with a man last week at Chick-fil-A. I was drawn to him because of his joy-filled friendliness. But, as I spoke to him, I began to understand that — like so many others — he feels unsafe. He is concerned about his wife and family. He fears they are in danger as they drive to school, pump gas, and shop for the things their family needs.
On top of that, he is in a job where he is not appreciated the way he should be. He feels targeted and unsafe. The job's rules and procedures keep getting more and more challenging. Recently, some of his coworkers committed the most serious of crimes and violated the most basic rules of the job. As a result, his work hours have doubled, and although that means more income, he is tired and worn down.
It’s getting harder and harder for him to protect and serve our city.
Yes, this man is a Memphis police officer. Is there a job filled with more challenges and less appreciation in our city than this man's? Yet, as I talked with him, he was full of joy, peace, and purpose — bound by duty to serve his family and those he agreed to protect.
There is a lot to learn from a joy-filled man who is full of duty and responsibility in the midst of incredibly difficult circumstances.
Over the years, when faced with difficult decisions, I’ve learned that having a dialogue with people whose lives, jobs, families, and culture look differently than mine is vitally important — especially when you live in the same city or community. The perspectives they bring help clarify indecision and provide freedom to see things in a new way, even if your decision remains the same.
From Indecision To Freedom
“This indecision is bugging me.” And, my guess is that it’s also bothering you. We were made for freedom. The goal for each of us is to move from indecision (and doubt) to freedom (and confidence) by asking some of the questions like the well known band The Clash does in their song “Should I Stay or Should I Go.” Of course, they were singing about much more trivial matters, but the question rings true for many.
We’re going to dig a little deeper than The Clash’s classic lyrics to see how to make good decisions using frameworks from Harvard Business Review, McKinsey & Company, and most importantly the truth of God’s word to guide us — whether to stay or go and how to help others.
First, decide what type of category the decision is for you and your family or the person you are helping. The way we define the situation can vary for each of us. An article in Harvard Business Review, A Leader’s Framework for Decision Making, helps leaders identify the urgency and characteristics of the situation in order to sense, categorize, and respond appropriately.
The Cynefin Decision Framework
This Cynefin Decision framework from HBR helps leaders determine the prevailing operative context so they can make appropriate choices. Each domain requires different actions.
Simple and complicated contexts assume an ordered universe, where cause-and-effect relationships are perceptible, and right answers can be determined based on the facts.
Complex and chaotic contexts are unordered — there is no immediately apparent relationship between cause and effect, and the way forward is determined based on emerging patterns.
How do you see the current situation?
If Chaotic — act first to establish order and protect yourselves and loved ones.
If Complex — probe for answers by experimenting and testing to gain experiential understanding.
If Simple — categorize and respond with known best practices.
If Complicated — analyze by drawing on more experts and data.
For Most — It’s Complicated
For most of those who are concerned and unsure what to do — it’s complicated. We love our city, neighbors, church, the kids' schools, Memphis’ food and of course the Grizzlies! But, living with constant fear of surroundings and circumstances is no way to live.
Knowing that for most of us it's complicated, let's transition to a framework for uncertain or complicated decisions.
A Bold Decision Is Needed
Writers from McKinsey and Company recommend a framework for making bold decisions in their article Decision Making in Uncertain Times. The five principles in this framework help leaders “make bold decisions quickly in these uncertain times.”
1. Take a breath — Ask yourself and your team these questions: What is most important right now? What might we be missing? How might things unfold from here, and what could we influence now that could pay off later? This ability to anticipate how things might unfold — and to begin to act accordingly — can help avoid knee-jerk reactions that lead to poor outcomes.
2. Involve more people — Encourage different views and debate. This approach can lead to smarter decisions without sacrificing speed.
In other words, to quote Ken Blanchard, “None of us are as smart as all of us.” Don’t just listen to your own voice.
3. Make the critical small choices — Anticipate multiple possible scenarios for how things might unfold over time. Detailed, precise predictions are likely to be wrong because things are in flux. Anticipating a range of possible pathways and general scenarios can be extremely helpful in thinking through what might happen. Make a list of five to ten choices or actions that making today might, depending on what happens, make a difference later.
4. Set up a nerve center — In stressful times it’s important to be able to focus attention on the issue at hand. That means minimizing distractions. If a leader is too frenzied, they are likely to make errors in judgment.
Agree to get together with your spouse, family members, and others charged with giving input to the situation on a regular basis. This will establish a process to deal with fears and make decisions.
Live By The Truth Of God’s Word
“The earth is the Lord's, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it; for he founded it on the seas and established it on the waters. Who may ascend the mountain of the Lord? Who may stand in his holy place? The one who has clean hands and a pure heart, who does not trust in an idol or swear by a false god. They will receive blessing from the Lord and vindication from God their Savior.” - Psalm 24:1-5
The whole earth is God’s and we are His too. When we put our trust in Him, we receive the blessing of knowing we are His, He’s saved us, and He will rescue us from all danger.
The philosopher Dallas Willard said, “Scripture is a means of personal transformation.” Scripture guides us perfectly when we lean into it. Consider how these verses from Romans can guide all our decisions.
“Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God — this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is — his good, pleasing and perfect will.” - Romans 12:1-2
In a commentary on those verses, Willard said, “The mind not transformed by God’s word holds before it a certain picture of the reality of the world. The mind informed by God’s word is renewed and that the renewed mind has thinking confirmed to the realities of the kingdom of God.”
Willard goes on to say, “We live in an alternate reality vs. the kingdom of God. The kingdom of God is now here and it is where what God wants done and is done. We pray ‘Thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.’”
“All of the problems of the world come from not thinking rightly about God. The world is organized around human desire. Love is not the same as desire. Love is meant to govern the will which is meant to contemplate alternatives.”
Two Pronged Ultimate Input — The Great Commandment
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these.” - Mark 12:30-31
Jesus makes it simple for us to understand, but not easy for us to implement. This great commandant leads us in all decisions with these two priorities.
- How will this decision help me love God better and trust Him more with my heart, soul, mind, and strength? Will this decision help me know God better? Is this the best way for me to know Him better?
- How will this decision help me serve God’s people — my current neighbors or potentially new neighbors — better? Will this decision help me care for my neighbors as I care for myself and my family? How will this help me maximize my gifts for the kingdom of God?
It’s clear from God that knowing and loving Him comes first and that we need to look out for our neighbors the same way we look out for ourselves. Let's pray and act for our neighbors the same way we pray and take care of ourselves.
A Great Example
Paul was a man who met Jesus face to face and was given a mission directly from God. Yet, he faced many challenges — including the people he loved and cared for not wanting him to leave. Even a prophet with a vision from the Holy Spirit was incorrectly guiding him to physical safety over God’s call for his life.
“After we had been there a number of days, a prophet named Agabus came down from Judea. Coming over to us, he took Paul's belt, tied his own hands and feet with it and said, “The Holy Spirit says, 'In this way the Jewish leaders in Jerusalem will bind the owner of this belt and will hand him over to the Gentiles.' ”When we heard this, we and the people there pleaded with Paul not to go up to Jerusalem. Then Paul answered, “Why are you weeping and breaking my heart? I am ready not only to be bound, but also to die in Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus.” When he would not be dissuaded, we gave up and said, “The Lord's will be done.”” - Acts 21:10-14
Looking out for the physical safety of others is an important responsibility for parents, spouses, leaders, coworkers and friends, but it is not more important than people’s spiritual health — it’s not more important than helping people get home safely to their Heavenly Father.
Paul knew his mission in life. He knew he had received instructions directly from God. He knew better life awaited him so he lived by the phrase the Holy Spirit inspired him to write, “To live is Christ, to die is gain.” - Philippians 1:21. He knew he was better off dead; so he was willing to risk his life (not casually) to complete the mission He was given.
We also have a mission. To put things under God’s order and dominion (Genesis 1:26-28). To be God’s witnesses (Isaiah 43:10) and to live, love, and serve as Jesus did as we make disciples (Matthew 28:19-20) of our neighbors, coworkers, the folks we meet in Chick-fil-A, and beyond.
Practical Implications — Move On Mission
1. Be informed with God’s word to guide your every move — God’s word is a lamp your feet, a light on your path (Psalm 119:105) — as much as you are informed by the news / neighborhood watch.
2. Pray for direction before you move to surrendering your will to God’s will — thy Kingdom come, they will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
3. Pray for the city — where God moves in your heart about the most pressing matters in the city.
4. Move to know God better in big and small decisions — to love Him with all of you heart soul and mind.
5. Move toward loving your neighbor as you do your self — different for everyone — but don’t run from fear. Reorder your fears.
6. Make changes that directly impact your safety while moving on mission:
⁃ Keep head on a swivel — look around be aware of your surroundings
⁃ Ask for help where you need it (in pumping gas, ride to the grocery store, etc.)
⁃ Install cameras if this would help with peace of mind
⁃ Remove valuables from cars and park in best place possible
7. Support our police officers and other public servants — move toward loving them — (see operation Back the Blue in Memphis)
8. Move to care for the vulnerable of our city including: unwed mothers, foster children, children who need reading tutors, and help with job training — volunteer and give.
Resources
Dallas Willard: Transformed By The Renewing Of The Mind
A Leader’s Framework For Decision Making by David Snowden and Mary Boone
Decision Making In Uncertain Times by Andrea Alexander, Aaron De Smet, and Leigh Weiss