“Look, our attorneys are getting wrapped around the axle on the minutiae of this deal and we are headed in the wrong direction.”

“This deal is critically important to the success of both of our companies. Do you have the authority to get this deal done? If so, let’s get our attorneys, go to my company’s corporate retreat center, and stay until we get it done. What do you think?”

I responded, “Mike, great idea, but Thanksgiving is in 3 days.”

“Exactly!” Mike said, “That may be just the incentive we may need to get it done.”

Mike left me with nothing else to say except, “Great point, let’s do it.”

And that is exactly what we did. Mike and I, with our respective contract lawyers, met on the Tuesday before Thanksgiving and completed a groundbreaking mutually beneficial agreement for both companies. And, of course, we all made it home in time for Thanksgiving.

Mike Burns is one of the most strategic leaders I’ve ever worked with when it comes to considering the upsides for both parties in an agreement. He is also equally courageous in facilitating success through relationships.

You see, Mike understands that in business relationships each party — vendor and client, employee and employer — must offer considerable strategic value to the other to create a win/win relationship.

The two companies we worked for on that initial agreement no longer exist, but our relationship does. Mike and I went on to create win/win relationships in at least seven other scenarios and completed dozens of other agreements. We have been each other's client, vendor, employer, and boss. We have a long term mutually beneficial relationship — helping each other in business and in life.

Win/Win Or No Deal!

“In the long run, if it isn’t a win for both of us, we both lose. That’s why win/win is the only real alternative in interdependent realities.”

This quote by Stephen Covey best defines Habit 4, Think Win/Win, in his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

Covey goes on to say, “Think Win/Win is not a technique; it’s a total philosophy of human interaction. In fact, it is one of six paradigms of interaction.” The six paradigms are best described this way —

• Win/Lose - “If I win you lose.” This person is more focused on beating the other party than creating something good. They can be happy taking something from the other party at the risk of their own best interests.

• Lose/Win - “Go ahead. Have your way with me.” This person is ok playing the victim. They think everyone is out to get them anyway.

• Lose/Lose - “Get back” or “get even.” This person is blind to the fact that murder is suicide. They have fear and a problem-based mindset.

• Win - “I’ll secure what I need, and let them worry about their needs.” This is the most common, but is based on one sided needs and short term thinking

• Win/Win - “Let’s make this work for both of us.” This person believes in the opportunity so much they operate like there is plenty of room for everyone. They seek mutual benefit in all human interactions.

• Win/Win or No Deal - “I want to win, and I want you to win or let’s not do this.” This person understands the value of long term mutually beneficial relationships and is willing to sacrifice in the short term for seeing both sides thrive long term. They think in terms of, “if we can’t find a solution that would benefit us both, we agree to disagree agreeably — No Deal.”

Consideration and Courage

The paradigms placed in the 2X2 matrix above challenge us in the scenarios we face along a continuum of consideration and courage. Win/Win or No Deal is the highest form of consideration and courage.

Covey says, “Many people think in dichotomies, in either/or terms. Most people tend to think in terms of dichotomies: strong or weak, hardball or softball, win or lose. But that kind of thinking is fundamentally flawed.

They think if you’re nice, you’re not tough. But Win/Win is nice… and tough. It’s twice as tough as Win/Lose. To go for Win/Win, you not only have to be nice, you have to be courageous. You not only have to be empathic, you have to be confident. You not only have to be considerate and sensitive, you have to be brave.”

Win/Win thinking requires consideration and courage that flow from a life of character — character that is full of love, wisdom, and truth that combine to create an abundance informed long-term approach to life and work.  

Followers of Jesus have a distinct advantage in creating and maintaining long term win/win agreements and relationships because we live in the ultimate and everlasting win/win. Our Savior defeated sin and death (1 Corinthians 15:55-58), which provided access to a perfect eternal relationship with God — a complete victory!

God’s word tells us that Jesus accomplished this victory at great cost to Himself (2 Corinthians 8:9) to enable the ultimate victory. Jesus paid the price, for the joy set before him (Hebrews 12:2), because He knew the victory was certain.

Therefore, as followers of Jesus — armed with assured lasting victory — we consider what Jesus would have us do in the individual scenarios we face, taking courage in Him to go and do likewise (Luke 10:37).

Encouragement and Consideration From Jesus

Covey’s chapter on Think Win/Win is based on a command of Jesus that is commonly called the golden rule. “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” – Luke 6:31

Jesus, the greatest leader the world has ever known, is much more than a model for the golden rule or how to think win/win. He is the source of grace and power that enables us to have consideration and courage. The Apostle Paul wrote to the Philippian church to help them grow in spiritual maturity. Inspired by the Holy Spirit, we have encouragement and consideration to live a life like Jesus.

Encouragement - “Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 2:1-4

Consideration - “Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death — even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue acknowledges that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” – Philippians 2:6-11

There is nothing greater to consider. There is no greater source of courage. Let’s go and create win/win relationships that last forever!

Resources

Book: 7 Habits of HIghly Effective People

Podcast: 7 Habit Series, Think Win/Win — Pursue What Lasts

Article: Choose Opportunity — Choose Relationships First

Article: Where Do You Want To Go?

Article: Proactivity Is Response Ability

Video: 6 Keys to Practicing the King's Economy | Michael Rhodes

More Resources From The Center